Akhbar Ahad membuka cerita perceraian artis, selebriti dan terbaru ahli sukan. Tajuk, kahwin singkat.
Melafazkan Cerai itu mudah jika di bandingkan dengan melafazkan I LOVE YOU…
Cerai bagi pandangan masyarakat sekarang lebih di anggap sebagai ‘BUANG’.
Buang dan tukar baru.
Persoalaannya adakah perceraian itu perlu di besar-besarkan di dalam dada akhbar atau mungkin mereka sebenarnya lebih cenderung menceritakan perceraian artis semata-mata ingin meniru media barat. Krisis kehidupan artis boleh mendatangkan ‘hasil’. Menceritakan krisis Rumahtangga Pak Abu kampung Dusun yang tidak di kenali tidak mendatangkan ‘hasil’.
PERKAHWINAN
Mungkin maksud perkahwinan bagi sesuatu pasangan itu masih lagi samar-samar.
Apakah tujuan perkahwinan itu? Apakah peranan seorang LELAKI (THE LEADER)?
Bagi saya polimik perceraian lebih kepada kekalutan masyarakat. Yang saya hendak sentuh ialah LELAKI. Mereka tidak ada ‘GOAL’ dalam perkahwinan. Mereka seakan lemah peribadi dan tidak ‘firm’ dalam perkahwinan.
Ini kerana lelaki yang suka melafazkan perkataan ‘CERAI’..
Dan MAHKAMAH pun banyak yang mempercepatkan cerai..
Common sense sikit BRO..
Common Sense?
Ibn Sina 6 (Avicenna) quote, common sense provides the place in which the senses come together, and which processes sense-data and makes the results available to consciousness 3. Thus the modern psychological 3 term, “perception 0“, fulfills the same function. Individuals could have different common senses depending on how their personal and social experience has taught them to categorize sensation .
What the HECK is MARRIAGE? Apa tu marriage?
Marriage serves as a means to emotional and sexual gratification and as a means of tension reduction. It is also a form of Ibadah because it is obeying Allah and his messenger – i.e. Marriage is seen as the only possible way for the sexes to unite. One could choose to live in sin, however by choosing marriage one is displaying obedience to Allah.
Marriage is a solemn covenant (agreement). It is not a matter which can be taken lightly. It should be entered into with total commitment and full knowledge of what it involves. It is not like buying a new dress where you can exchange it if you don’t like it. Your partner should be your choice for life. One should be mature enough to understand the demands of marriage so that the union can be a lasting one. For a marriage to be valid certain conditions must be met.
Cerai? Y CERAI?
Adakah lelaki UNDERACHIEVER? Lelaki memiliki bad characteristic..?
Adakah lelaki DENIAL?
denial
Siapa yang perlu di perbetulkan? Jangan guna istilah siapa yang patut di persalahkan!
WHAT Character and Behavior ?
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, commanded PARENTS to facilitate their marriage when they are satisfied with two issues: the faith of the suitor and his character.
Character is of extreme importance in Islam and goes hand in hand with faith and piety. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, has even described it as the purpose of his mission to mankind as we can see in the following Hadiths:
“I have only been sent to complete good character.” (Reported by Al-Hakim and others and classed as Sahih)
“I am a guarantor of a house in the highest degree of Paradise for one who makes his character good.” (Reported by Abu Dawud and it is Hasan)
Allah establishes the relation of this issue to marriage, saying:
“Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. And good women are for good men and good men are for good women.” (An-Nur: 26)
Bad can be changed to good. With the conditions that he or she IS willing to ‘TAUBAT’.
One of the important issues of character in the spouses is the quality of Wudd.
This means kindness, lovingness and compassion.
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Marry the loving/friendly, the child-bearing woman, for I shall outstrip the other nations with your numbers on the Day of Judgment.”
(Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and others and classed as Sahih)
Tanggungjawab dan UNDERACHIEVER?
UNDERACHIEVER itu ada kaitan dengan ANTIMATERIAL. Material dalam dunia ada banyak maksud… IJAZAH dan PHD juga ialah salah satu objek material kerana ia bernilai dan sukar untuk dimiliki. Ia juga boleh di kategorikan sebagi salah satu Motivational factor untuk seseorang itu berusaha.
Setiap lelaki dan perempuan perlu mempunyai semangat untuk berjaya.
Setiap lelaki dan perempuan perlu mempunyai semangat untuk tidak gagal. (Motivation to avoid failure)
Cuma jangan terlampau extreme mencari material kerana ia boleh membuatkan seseorang itu mengalami tekanan perasaan dan lalai terhadap Allah S.W.T
Semua bangsa di dunia tidak kira apa warna kulit dan agama bersetuju bahawa material tidak boleh di bawa mati..
Tidak di nafikan kekuatan fikiran wanita terhadap material menyebabkan mereka lebih kehadapan daripada lelaki. Ini di buktikan dengan bilangan pelajar wanita di UNIVERSITI melebihi lelaki.
Di dalam HUMAN RESOURCE, biasanya pengambilan seseorang dalam pekerjaan di lihat dari kecenderungan si kene temuduga terhadap kejayaan. (MATERIAL)
Tidak bertanggungjawab juga ada kaitannya dengan UNDERACHIEVER.
Untuk menjadikan seorang lelaki itu berakhlak ia perlu memiliki characteristic tanggungjawab.
Bertanggungjawab dahulu kemudian baru datang akhlak.
Kita selalu sarankan lelaki mencari wanita yang berakhlak…
“Dikahwini wanita itu (untuk dijadikan isteri) kerana empat perkara iaitu harta kekayaannya, keturunannya, kecantikannya dan agamanya. Maka utamakanlah (dalam pemilihan mu itu) wanita yang kuat beragama, nescaya sejahtera hidupmu”. (Bukhari dan Muslim)
Ternyata hadis tersebut di tujukan kepada lelaki kerana lelaki lah yang bertanya…
Bagaimana pula kalau wanita?
Bagi saya kedua-dua nya sama … baik lelaki atau perempuan..
Tetapi hakikatnya.. perempuan lah yang amat sukar mencari lelaki beraklak iaitu bertanggungjawab.
Tidak sesuai langsung seorang lelaki tidak bertanggungjawab mengahwini perempuan baik…
Masyarakat sekarang lebih cenderung salahkan perempuan.. Terima kasih kepada mereka yang meletakkan wanita sebagai manusia jahat.
Masyarakat nasara berfikiran begitu. Mereka menyalahkan wanita dalam banyak hal… Seperti menyalahkan HAWA.
Islam never acknowledged the idea of “Eve’s sin” (kaum hawa)
TIDAK BERTANGGUNGJAWAB ATAU FEAR OF COMMITMENT.
Fear of commitment in much popular literature refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage 1 but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well.
The term commitmentphobia was coined in the popular self-help book Men Who Can’t Love in 1987. Following criticism of the perceived sexist idea that only men were commitmentphobic, the authors provided a more gender balanced model of commitmentphobia in a later work, He’s Scared, She’s Scared.
Commitmentphobia is often most strongly apparent in romantic life. Generally, commitmentphobic people claim that they are eager to find a lasting romantic attachment and get married, yet they fail to find appropriate partners and maintain longlasting connections. Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitmentphobic partner craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. This paradoxical craving for a frightening reality leads to a confusing and destructive pattern of seduction and rejection. The results are emotionally devastating.
The key to understanding commitmentphobia is recognizing that such behavior is rooted in fear — fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. The commitmentphobic mind sees decisions as permanent, opening the possibility of being caged or trapped forever with no means of escape. Commitmentphobia is a real disabling fear, that can be manifest in many areas of life, including career, home ownership, or even shoe shopping. This fear can make simple every day decisions into a tremendous burden.
To assuage their anxieties, many commitmentphobics become fantasy-driven, using their active imaginations to fill in for the lack of emotional security and closeness in their lives. Of course, these fantasies pose additional problems because no potential partner, car, or job can ever live up to the fantasy. Commitmentphobics are also prone to self-destructive behavior, such as walking out on partners or jobs without notice, leaving themselves and the people in their lives in untenable situations.
One potentially misleading aspect of commitmentphobic behavior is that the partner who is actively running away from commitment is not the only one with a problem. In fact, commitmentphobic behavior includes “settling” for inappropriate partners, pursuing unattainable partners, and engaging in instant relationship mergers as well as fleeing from what might have appeared to be a stable romance. Any persistent behavior that actively prevents a person from making a commitment or allows a person to make excuses for not having made a commitment can be considered commitmentphobic.
Authors Carter and Sokol handle this circumstance by describing “active” commitmentphobia, which is most strongly characterized by running away from relationships, and “passive” commitmentphobia, which is most strongly characterized by longsuffering devotion to an active partner who is running away, longing for a partner who has run away, and fantasy reconciliation scenarios.
Islamic Fundamental itu kembali ke ORIGINAL sunnah… my dear brother..
Kita perlu berpegang kepada ISLAM mengenai peranan lelaki dalam keluarga… Itu hakikat dan realiti… Jangan cubA membelakangi peranan lelaki dan tanggungjawab lelaki dalam kehidupan berumahtangga.
THE MAN. THE HUSBAND. THE LEADER IN A VERY SMALL GROUP (IN THE FAMILY)
A man, however should not marry if he or she does not possess the means to maintain a wife and future family, or if he has no sex drive or if dislikes children.
The general principle is that prophet (pbuh) enjoined up in the followers to marry.
He said “when a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion , so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.”
This hadith is narrated by Anas. Islam greatly encourages marriage because it shields one from and upholds the family unit which Islam places great importance.
When the prophet’s wife `Aisha was asked about her husband’s character, she stated simply:
“He was the Qur’an,” meaning that his life was the practical expression of the Qur’anic guidance. (Reported by Muslim.)
For the above reason, let us see how he who lived his life according to the Qur’an and THE SUNNAH (Handbook), treated his wives.
All the eminent narrators of hadith (sayings of the prophet) such as Bukhari, Muslim and Abu Daud quote one of the prophet’s wife as saying that Muhammad (pbuh) NEVER ever lifted a finger to punish his wives.
And what is more, there are a number of hadiths that categorically prohibit wife-beating, and in one of his sayings he has equated perfect belief with good treatment of one’s wife:
“Among the Muslims, the most perfect as regards his faith is the one whose character is most excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” (Narrated by Tirmidhi.)
Tiada siapa yang suka hidup di dalam dosa. Kahwin merupakan keutamaan.
The WOMEN.
Islam does not consider woman “an instrument of the devil”, (or JAHAT) but rather the Qur’an calls her muhsana, a fortress against Satan. This is because a good woman, by marrying a man, helps him keep to the path of rectitude in his life. It is for this reason that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) considered marriage as a most virtuous act.
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) always praised virtuous and chaste women. He said:
‘The world and all things in the world are precious, but the most precious thing in the world is a virtuous woman.’
He (pbuh) was also most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims, to be kind to their women, when he delivered his famous sermon, khutbat al-wada’ on the Mount of Mercy, at Arafat.
He (pbuh) was also most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims, to be kind to their women, when he delivered his famous sermon, khutbat al-wada’ on the Mount of Mercy, at Arafat.
This was in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions. who had gathered there for hajjat al-wada’ (farewell pilgrimage).
It was in this famous Farewell Sermon that he ordered Muslim men to be respectful and kind towards women.
He said: ‘Fear God regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of God, and made their bodies lawful with the word of God. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you …’
‘Fear God regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of God, and made their bodies lawful with the word of God. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you …’
Women and choosing PROSPECTIVE HUSBAND.
The woman also has a right to look at her prospective husband. Some have even said that it is more important for the woman to see the man. This is because the man holds the right of instant and unconditional divorce in case he is displeased with his wife. It is not so easy for the woman to get out of a marriage and so she must have priority in this issue.”
O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good.
Surah 4 Verse 19
If you still looking for the right husband, please ber dua to Allah S.W.T and make sure you work hard for it. To me dua is also part of POSITIVE SELF ATTITUDE.
Positive mental attitude, is a psychological term which describes a mental phenomenon in which the central idea is that one can increase achievement through optimistic thought processes. PMA implies that one has a vision of good natured change in one’s mind; it employs a state of mind that continues to seek, find and execute ways to win, or find a desirable outcome, regardless of the circumstances. It rejects negativity, defeatism and hopelessness.
THE HUSBAND (SO CALLED THE LEADER) AND THE GENDER ROLE
*{Men are the carers and maintainers of women (MATERIAL), because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill conduct, admonish them [first], [next] refuse to share their beds, [and last] beat them [lightly]; but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means [of annoyance]: for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all).}*
The man also has the total responsibility to pay the household expenses [MATERIAL].
Even if a woman is wealthy, she does not have to spend any of her money on the maintenance of herself or the couple’s children. In fact, many Muslim women do work outside the home.
They (THE WOMEN) can contribute to the household budget if they choose, and they receive the Heavenly reward for giving charity, but they are not required to do so.
Every group needs a leader, and Islam gives that responsibility to the husband because he is the breadwinner. He should consult his wife on family matters, but the final decisions are his.
The wife should lovingly obey her husband, even when she disagrees, to keep peace in the family and to win the pleasure of Allah (God). That does not mean that she is his slave and must wait on him hand and foot.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) himself helped his wives with housework. Furthermore, if a woman had a servant before marriage, she has the right to have a servant at her husband’s expense.
A man and woman should enter into marriage with the intention of it being permanent, and Islam has many teachings on how husbands and wives should deal with each other lovingly.
While men and women should enter into marriages with the intention of it being permanent, Islam recognizes that people do sometimes make poor decisions or change. Thus, divorce and remarriage are allowed as a last resort after estranged couples have attempted to reconcile their differences with the help of family or other counselors.
Also Mu`awiyah al-Qushayri narrated:
“I went to the apostle of Allah (pbuh) and asked him: ‘What do you say [command] about our wives?’ He replied: ‘Give them the same food you have for yourself, and clothe them with the same clothes you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them.’” (Reported by Abu-Dawud.)
As for Abu Hurairah, he reported: “the messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, ‘A believer must not hate the believing woman [his wife]; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.’” (Reported by Muslim.)
A man who are responsible to his wives and children is also part of ‘act of worship’. IBADAH.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told us that whatever one spends for his family is a type of charity; he will be rewarded for it if he acquires it through legal means. Kindness to members of one’s family is an act of worship as when one puts a piece of food in his spouse’s mouth.
Not only this but even the acts we enjoy doing very much, when they are performed according to the instructions of the Prophet, are considered as acts of worship.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told his Companions that they will be rewarded even for having sexual intercourse with their wives.
The Companions were astonished and asked, “How are we going to be rewarded for doing something we enjoy very much?”
The Prophet asked them, “Suppose you satisfy your desires illegally; don’t you think that you will be punished for that?”
They replied, “Yes.”
“So,” he said, “by satisfying it legally with your wives you are rewarded for it.” This means they are acts of worship.
Thus Islam does not consider sex a dirty thing that one should avoid. It is dirty and sinful only when it is satisfied outside marital life.
Act of WORSHIP
The concept of worship in Islam is misunderstood by many people, inclu ding some Muslims.
The ritual Worship is commonly taken to mean performing ritualistic acts such as prayers, fasting, and giving charity (ZAKAT).
This limited understanding of worship is only one part of the meaning of worship in Islam. That is why the traditional definition of worship in Islam is a comprehensive definition that includes almost everything in any individual’s activities: Worship is an all inclusive term for all that God loves of external and internal sayings and actions of a person.
In other words, worship is everything one says or does for the pleasure of Allah. This, of course, includes rituals as well as beliefs, social activities, and personal contributions to the welfare of one’s fellow human-beings.
Islam looks at the individual as a whole. He is required to submit himself completely to Allah, as the Qur’an instructed the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) to do:
[Say (O Muhammad) my prayer, my sacrifice, my life and my death belong to Allah; He has no partner and I am ordered to be among those who submit, i.e.; Muslims.] (Al-An`am 6:162-163)
The natural result of this submission is that all one’s activities should conform to the instructions of the one to whom the person is submitting. Islam, being a way of life, requires that its followers model their life according to its teachings in every aspect, religious or other wise. This might sound strange to some people who think of religion as a personal relation between the individual and God, having no impact on one’s activities outside rituals.
Thus, worship in Islam, whether ritual or non-ritual, trains the individual in such a way that he loves his Creator most and thereby gains an unyielding will and spirit to wipe out all evil and oppression from the human society and make the word of God dominant in the world.
BE Patience my brother
About NUSYUZ
Nusyuz or the literal meaning of the word is “rebellion”. But rebellion against whom and in what sense? We should certainly not think of this in terms the rebellion of the ruled against a ruler in a sultanate or dictatorship and conclude that it consists of the wife disobeying some of the husband’s commands. This is because the same word nushuz is used in case of a husband in verse 128 of the same surah 4, where it is said: “If a woman fears nushuz on her husband’s part…” So nushûz is something that can be feared by the husband on the wife’s part or by the wife on her husband’s part. It cannot therefore be understood in terms of the ruler-ruled relationship. To correctly understand the meaning of the word, it must be noted that both in the verse under consideration and in verse 128 the reference to nushuz is followed by a reference to the break-up of the marriage (see vv. 35, 130). If this context is kept in mind, then it becomes evident that nushuz means the type of behavior on the part of the husband or the wife which is so disturbing for the other that their living together becomes difficult. …In short, nushûz is a behavior on the part of one marriage partner which comes out of ill-will and seriously disturbs the other partner
*{O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good.}*
*{And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may live [dwell] in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect}*
Thus, the command for wives to obey their husbands is not an unjust, one-sided command, as some critics of Islam would have us believe. As we do not expect a healthy atmosphere in the family when the relationship between the husband and wife is spoiled by distrust and discord.
When disruption is feared, it is necessary for one to concede to the other; and God ordains that the wife should be gracious enough to do this. To compensate for this as it were, the financial burden of managing the family affairs is taken completely off her shoulders.
*{… as to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill conduct, admonish them [first], [next] refuse to share their beds, [and last] beat them [lightly]; but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means [of annoyance]: for God is Most High, Great [above you all].}* An Nisaa.
Here, what we are concerned about is the expression: “beat them” . The original Arabic word used in the verse is: “wadriboohunna”. This is derived from the root, “daraba”, which according to Arabic linguists have got a number of meanings, including, “beat” or “hit”.
Some scholars argue that the word in this context does not mean “beat” or “hit”. It means just “leave [them]”. But it is obvious – and Allah knows best – that the word stands here for punishment, but only symbolic punishment.
The 2007 translation The Sublime Quran by Laleh Bakhtiar translates iḍribūhunna not as ‘beat them’ but as ‘go away from them’. The introduction to her translation discusses the linguistic and shari‘ah reasons in Arabic for understanding this verb in context. The Prophet never beat his wives, and his example from the Sunnah informs the interpretation of this verse. This interpretation is supported by the fact that some other verses, such as 4:101 which contains word darabtum (derivation from daraba), demonstrate also the interpretation of Arabic word daraba to have meaning ‘going’ or ‘moving’.
I hope you understand what SYMBOLIC means…
I say this in the light of the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), who is the best interpreter of the Qur’an, as has already been stated earlier. Besides, we read in the following verse, Surah 4 – verse 35, the step to be followed in case there is a chance of “breach” between the husband and wife:
*{If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint [two] arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: for Allah hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.}*
The Qur’an states that except a wife guilty of open sexual transgressions, a believer should not subject his wife to harsh treatment, even if he dislikes his wife. If a believer (THE HUSBAND) behaves in a good manner to his wife even though he doesn’t like her, the Qur’an used the word Asā (‘عَسَى’), which implies in this context a promise from God of a great reward.
Modern scholars say that the Qur’an instructs husbands to deal with their wives according to good conventions and traditions of a society and emphasize the importance of taking counsel and mutual agreement in family decisions.
Similarly, it is attributed to Muhammad PBUH:
* Fear Allah in respect of women.
* The best of you are they who behave best to their wives.
* A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good.
* The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is.
Sexuals
The Islamic point of view about the worldly good things is not negative, rather it says that we should appreciate them as the blessings of God. And Islam is, therefore, totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. ‘Uthman bin Maz’un was a close companion of the Prophet. One day his wife came to the Prophet and complained, “O the Messenger of God! ‘Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night.” In other words, she meant to say that her husband was abstaining from sexual relations during the night as well as the day. The Prophet was so much angered with this that he did not even wait to put on his slippers. He came out with the slippers in his hands and went to ‘Uthman’s house. The Prophet found him praying. When ‘Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards the Prophet, the latter said, “O ‘Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight[shari'ah]. I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions. (Wasa’il, Vol. 14, p. 10) Since ‘Uthman was already married, the word “marriage” in this hadith can only be applied to sexual relations.
Di atas saya hanya menyentuh mengenai suami dan isteri.. saya belum sentuh ibu bapa…
Sebenarnya perceraian berlaku dan maklumat yang saya perolehi, tidaklah begitu tinggi. Bilangannya yang bercerai sedikit. Tetapi untuk menjadikan SIFAR cerai bagi saya mungkin agak mustahil tetapi saya optimistik kita boleh lakukan.
Tiada apa yang mustahil dengan syarat kita berkerjasama. Politik dan masyarakat perlu bersatu ke arah SIFAR cerai.
Hairan apabila melihat orang bercerai. Tetapi adakalanya perceraiaan itu berlaku di atas sebab-sebab yang munasabah dan ada yang tidak munasabah (silliness).
Ada ‘orang Motivasi’ mengatakan tidak mendapat restu ibu bapa..
Mana ada zaman sekarang tidak dapat restu ibu bapa. Semuanya dapat restu.
Belanja dah berpuluh ribu masih lagi tidak dapat restu? Lainlah kita kahwin lari.
Soalan: Adakah mana-mana doa untuk mencari suami yang baik?
Jawapan: Pertamanya, kami dengan sepenuh hati memohon Allah untuk memudahkan perkahwinan bagi anda secepat mungkin. Mengikut Shariah, tiada salah untuk anda berdoa kepada Allah supaya memudahkan anda untuk berkahwin. Salah satu doa daripada al-Qur’an ialah: (Dan di antara mereka ada yang berkata: “Wahai Tuhan kami! Berikanlah kepada kami kebaikan di dunia dan kebaikan di akhirat, dan lindungilah kami daripada azab neraka.”) (Al-Baqarah 2:201).
Pentafsir al-Quran menafsirkan yang kebaikan di dunia ini ialah pasangan yang baik. Anda boleh berdoa kepada Allah untuk memberikan anda pasangan yang baik. Jika ada mana-mana individu tertentu yang anda mahu kahwini, maka anda boleh berdoa kepada Allah untuk memberikan anda apa-apa yang baik atau memudahkan hal itu bagi anda jika hal itu benar-benar memberikan kebaikan, sebabnya anda tidak mengetahui hal yang benar-benar baik bagi anda. Rasulullah (SAW) memberitahu kita yang kita mesti memohon kepada Allah dan memohon pertolongan Nya dalam semua hal.
Hanya Dia mengetahui semua perkara ghaib dan hanya Dia mempunyai pengetahuan lengkap akan masa depan. Dia berkuasa menjadikan urusan mudah bagi kita dan memimpin kita membuat keputusan.
Maka, anda dinasihatkan untuk percaya penuh kepada Allah dan pada masa yang sama memohon Allah untuk mengurniakan anda pasangan yang sesuai dan memudahkan apa-apa yang terbaik bagi anda.
Menjawab soalan anda, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, pensyarah kanan dan ulama di Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, menyatakan: Kita mesti menggunakan sumber-sumber yang Tuhan kurniakan dan berusaha sebaik mungkin sambil berdoa kepada Allah bagi memimpin dan merahmati kita untuk mencapai semua hajat dan cita-cita yang baik.
Rasulullah (SAW) bersabda, “Perhatikan dan harapkan perkara yang terbaik (untuk kamu) dan mohonlah pertolongan Allah (sambil membuat usaha yang terbaik) dan jangan mudah putus-asa.” Jika setelah berbuat demikian, hajat anda tidak tercapai, katakanlah “ini ialah takdir Allah.”
Dalam kata lain, dengan hanya berdoa tanpa berusaha bersungguh-sungguh ialah bukan cara Islam yang diajarkan oleh Rasulullah (SAW) yang kita cintai.
Maka saya menasihatkan anda supaya jangan berhenti berdoa, tetapi semasa berbuat demikian jangan lupa untuk berusaha bersungguh-sungguh dalam mencapai matlamat anda.
Disini ada beberapa cadangan:: 1. Mintalah pertolongan mereka yang ada kedudukan (seperti imam-imam, pemimpin masyarakat, orang yang lebih tua yang boleh dipercayai) untuk menolong anda dalam pencarian anda untuk seorang suami yang baik. 2. Cuba untuk mengunakan peluang yang ada dalam masyarakat anda untuk berjumpa calon yang sesuai. Contohnya termasuklah seminar perkahwinan, persidangan, seminar, ceramah, dan perjumpaan. Semasa berusaha sebaik mungkin, jangan berhenti berdoa kepada Allah untuk mengabulkan hajat anda.
Dalam hal ini, anda boleh menggunakan doa-doa yang sesuai atau mencipta doa sendiri; sebab doa boleh diciptakan sendiri dan tiada larangan untuk berdoa untuk perkara-perkara dunia dan akhirat.
Saya senaraikan di bawah beberapa doa yang boleh digunakan untuk tujuan ini: Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilayya min kharyin faqeer. (Wahai Tuhan ku, aku ini amat mengharapkan kebaikan terhadap apa yang Engkau turunkan kepadaku.)
Allahumma, rahmataka arju fala takilni ila nafsi tarafata `aynin wa aslih li sha’ni kullahu. (Ya Allah, aku mohon rahmat Mu, jadi jangan tinggalkan daku sesuka hati walau seketika; dan permudahkan semua urusan ku bagi diri ku.)
Allahumma aghnini bi halalika `an haramika wa bi ta`atika `an ma`siyatika wa bi fadlika `amman siwaka (Ya Allah, jadikanlah aku cukup dengan apa-apa yang Engkau telah jadikan halal untuk ku supaya aku tidak terdesak menuju kepada yang haram; dan jadikan diri ku cukup dengan ketaatan kepada Mu jadi aku tidak terdesak untuk derhaka kpd Mu; dan jadikanlah aku cukup dengan pemberian Mu jadi aku tidak perlu kepada pemberian yang lain.)
Anda boleh membaca doa-doa di atas untuk mencapai matlamat itu pada bila-bila masa, tetapi yang terbaik ialah berdoa selepas dua rakaat Solat Hajat. Saya berdoa kepada Allah untuk memakbulkan hajat anda.Semoga Dia menerima doa-doa kita dan mengurniakan kita semua yang terbaik untuk dunia dan akhirat. Ameen.
Terjemahan daripada: Du`aa’ to Find a Good Husband
Tags: isteri, kahwin, kahwin artis, perkahwinan